Lesbian Mom Mobile App Lesbian Mom Group Lesbian Mom Shop Lesbian Mom Toolbar

Like, Follow, Share

Traffic Stats

You Are Here: Home» Lesbian Activism , Lesbian Life » The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly in the LGBT Community

Last week I had the opportunity to organize a local Join the Impact rally when the nation protested against The Defense of Marriage Act by signing a petition to send to President-Elect Barack Obama. 

That weekend was non-stop and through it all we met a lot of different people as we gathered those signatures. When it was all over I found that others who organized events in their local area had similar experiences. This post is titled "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly in the LGBT Community". That is because during the event I held at Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach, that is exactly what we came up against - the good, the bad, and the ugly in our own LGBT community.

Let me tell you what I mean...

The Good
First of all we met many extra-ordinary people that day! It made me proud to be a part of a community with such diverse interests, talents, and achievements. Many people were seeking US out to sign our petition, and one gentleman was waiting at the door before opening to get his name on the Open Letter to President Obama we were sending.

We met a man who was extremely friendly with great conversation about his gay son who he beamed about with a sense of great love and pride. Two men grabbed a petition sheet and ran it through their neighborhood nearby gathering as many signatures as they could!

The staff at our location made it a point to sign our petition and buy our team lunch, and share their perspective on the issues too.

I found that Hamburger Mary's in West Hollywood and Long Beach are dedicated supporters to the Human Rights Campaign and were gay-family friendly to my niece and nephew who are 2 year old twins that dropped by with their two-moms. Many couples (gay and straight!) dropped by specifically to sign the petition and share their perspective on the issues as well. There were many insightful conversations that day! I exchanged contact information with many of the people I connected with and I can only expect that great things will come from those connections.

The Bad
When we first arrived we gathered about 10 signatures in the first 2 hours, and that was including the gentleman who was waiting plus the first shift of staff, and the LGR team on location.

Unlike the National Protest against Prop 8 which was held on November 15th, the LGBT community did NOT show out in large numbers to participate.
I printed out a hundred sheets to have signed, hoping that it would be enough.

Turns out I only needed about ten sheets total. Yikes!

On top of that, people who were not specifically in attendance to sign our petition were very stand offish when it came to the whole idea of signing. We had a give away for our signatures, we gave every person who signed a free lollipop. At a certain point, the only thing that would inspire certain passers by to sign our petition was the lolli. Some people were really blaze' about petitioning for LGBT rights - and these are people who are affected directly by this petition because they ARE the LGBT community!I was very disappointed.

The Ugly
Even uglier than the bad were some of the snide remarks, and apparent shunning of our team by people who were clearly NOT interested in participating in our National DOMA Protest.

What was so ugly about it to me was the ignorant justification of why they wouldn't sign. For example, one gentleman said to me "Why are you protesting Obama if he isn't even in office yet? I'm not going to sign that." **sigh**

Later in the evening a group of about 5 or 6 gentleman walked by (in tight quarters) in front of a nightclub patio full of people - and not only were they too 'cool' to sign the petition; they didn't stop, pause, or even look in our direction as they passed us by - like we weren't even there.

Others who HAD signed our petition called out to them for shunning us, some booed them, most of us just shook our heads.

Another ugly in the LGBT community - for some reason I had more inappropriate questions asked of me at that event than any straight event I have ever participated in or organized for.

As a lesbian woman I am used to having naive people intrude on my personal life by asking questions related to my sexual orientation that they would not necessarily ask a straight person. Yet I was shocked at some of the personal questions people asked those of us on the LGR team while they signed our petition that weekend!

Like I said, I found that others who had organized local protests of The Defense of Marriage act by gathering signatures had similar experiences.

It was clearly disappointing to me to find this out and see that the experience I had was not isolated. But you know what??? I hold onto the good! The good that I experienced that day inspired me to new levels! Many people told us THANK YOU for being there. THANK YOU? Thank YOU! Thank you to all those good people out there - you know who you are! Those of you who always try to do the right thing. Those who can't just stand by and stand for injustice and inequality. The LGBT community has faced many adversities, yet now I feel excited about the H.O.P.E that we all have because we have become so united. United we stand, divided we fall! So let's just forget the bad, forgive the ugly and hold onto the good from here on.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.


Leave a Reply

Comments posted on Adventures of a Lesbian Mommy will be moderated and are only approved if they are on-topic and not abusive. Also, please avoid including website URLs in your comments - Thank You!

Featured Sponsor